


Fantasy In A Galaxy Far Away

by HelenRedy



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crossdressing Kink, Derek is kind of amused, Established Sterek - Freeform, Fluff and Crack, I am so sorry, Kinky, Kinky Roleplay, M/M, Return of the Jedi Stilinksi Style, Scott is not amused, Scott really shouldn't be involved someone help him, Star Wars Refrences, Stiles just has one question that refuses to be answered, that damned bikini that broke the world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-22 18:10:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11385603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelenRedy/pseuds/HelenRedy
Summary: Stiles's fantasy.





	Fantasy In A Galaxy Far Away

A trickle of sweat ran down his back, and he coughed up sand.  
  
Sand?  
  
Stiles’s eyes opened, and indeed all around him was sand, hot and heavy and never ending.  
  
A groan came from behind him.  
  
“Stiles?” A hoarse, but familiar voice questioned. “Oh my god, where are we?” Scott McCall sat up, bringing sand with him. Brown eyes squinted at the sun. “Why is it so hot?”  
  
Stiles looked over at his friend, taking one glance his eyes opened widely, “What happened to you?”  
  
“What do you mean what happened to-” Scott stopped and observed his hands. He tentatively touched his face and his chest, “Oh my god, what is this?”  
  
Stiles gulped, feeling a bit queasy, “You look hairy, dude. Like way more hairy than usual.”  
  
Scott had a thick coat all over his body. It wasn’t a full shift or even a half shift; it was just a whole lot of hair. Long and brown and pretty much everywhere.  
  
“This is-” Scott pulled at the hair on his face and moaned. “What the hell is this?”  
  
“A lot of hair, man, but I’m sure whatever it is-” Stiles was getting used to this crap, waking up in weird places, seeing his friends turn into animals-it was all getting a little too normal. “We can fix it.”  
  
“And why are you dressed like a monk?”  
  
“Dressed like a what?” Stiles looked down. His outfit was all black, including a hooded robe and there was a feeling of not only nostalgia but great awe as he fingered the material. “Oh my god!” He took a second look around at the desert around them. It did seem to go on forever, but there was the figure of something in the distance. A building he knew he’d seen before.  
  
Two suns, a desert planet, dark robes and- “Holy shit,” Stiles’s hands found the inside of his robe and the object he’d both dreaded and hoped would be there found its way into his grip. “Scott,” he held the weapon out for the other boy to see. “Do you know where we are?”  
  
Scott’s overly hairy face furrowed, “a sweltering desert?”  
  
“No, this is-” Stiles couldn’t believe it. “Oh my god, we’re on Tatooine.”  
  
Scott gave him a deadpanned look and crossed his arms, “Is this a joke? You’re telling me you know where we are.”  
  
Stiles nodded. He was sure of it, “Yeah I do and if you actually watched the movies like I keep telling you to-”  
  
“Oh god, Stiles, let it go, no one cares about-”  
  
“Star Wars, dude. It’s-how is this happening?”  
  
“Star Wars,” Scott repeated in a defeated sounding echo. “Stiles, have you lost your mind? This is obviously some desert we’ve been dumped in or something and-”  
  
The lightsaber came to life with a whirl.  
  
Scott shot back, “The hell is that?”  
  
Stiles grinned, looking at the blade of light with something akin to joy. “This, Scott McCall, is the most badass thing that was ever created. Ever.”  
  
“It looks dangerous, keep it away from me.”  
  
Stiles did a few twirls before realizing. “Oh Yeah, um-probably a good idea,” He retracted the weapon, but couldn’t stop staring and rolling the handle in his palm.  
  
“Okay, so let’s say it is-” Scott made a face. “Star Wars. Can you explain why I’m covered in hair?”  
  
“Wookie,” Stiles said easily. “A little short, but I’d definitely say you’re a Wookie.”  
  
“Of course I am,” Scott sounded irritated and pointed at him. “And you’re a priest or something?”  
  
“Jedi.”  
  
“Jedi,” Scott repeated. “And you have a light sword?”  
  
“Lightsaber,” Stiles corrected, fondling the weapon once again with large, attentive eyes.  
  
“Right-okay, well I’m going back to sleep because this is obviously a nightmare and-” Scott stopped and looked around. “Hold on, do you think this is some spell or curse or enchantment, or something?”  
  
“Probably, though I’m not sure why someone would think this was a curse,” Stiles would be content to stay here for a very long while if he could.  
  
“We’re stuck on a desert in the middle of nowhere, Stiles, how is this not-oh my god, are you excited about this?”  
  
“Of course not,” Stiles lied. Scott glared at him, and he retracted. “Okay, fine, I’m a little excited, sue me, alright? I know this universe like the back of my hand, and I’m pretty sure that,” He gestured at the far away building that he knew had once been a monastery. “Is Jabba the Hutt's Palace.”  
  
There was no sign of recognition at the name. Figured. “Jabba the what?”  
  
“Hutt,” Stiles held out his hands to indicate a large size. “Big nasty green guy. His real name is Jabba Desilijic Tiure, and he’s a ruthless crime lord. He was done with puppets initially then they went back and did that shitty CGI. Fucking shame.”  
  
“Stiles-” Scott blinked. “Get a girlfriend.”  
  
“Already got a boyfriend and I like him just--” Stiles froze, looking back he began to search once again, this time for a missing person he’d forgotten about in all the excitement. “Derek?” he called for the older man but didn’t see him anywhere. “He was with us, wasn’t he?”  
  
“I don’t know. I mean probably, but I honestly don’t remember what I was even doing before-” Scott waved his furry arms. “All of this.”  
  
Stiles looked back at what he was sure was Jabba’s palace. There was a sinking feeling in his gut that he knew where this was going. It wasn’t to script, but it seemed they’d been placed on this planet and near the palace for a reason, “I’ll bet he has him.”  
  
“Who? Pizza Hut, or whatever?”  
  
Stiles popped his mouth, “Laugh it up, furball.”  
  
Scott glared but didn’t seem to understand the line.  
  
Stiles shook his head, “This is going to be so wasted on you guys.”  
  
“Okay, I’ll bite, why do you think this Hutt-thing would have Derek?”  
  
“Because it’s obvious we’re the leading trio. Luke,” Stiles pointed to himself. “Chewie,” his finger moved to Scott. “And Han,” he waved at the palace. “I mean we’re all over the place as far as the plot, but I’m pretty sure that giant slug has my boyfriend frozen in carbonite.”

“Carbo-what?”  
  
“Oh, my-” Stiles huffed in aggravation. “Never mind, we have to head in that direction, and I’ll explain the plot as best as I can.”  
  
Scott groaned. He looked like he’d rather just stick his head in the sand and disappear.

xxx  
  
“Okay, I’ll admit,” Stiles stated over a pant. “You don’t get to see all this walking in the movie.” His chest hurt from all the sand and his feet were killing him. Black was not a color meant for the desert, “Goddamn, that was far.”  
  
“Says the one not covered in fur,” Scott reminded him testily.  
  
“Well, it’s not like it’s the first time or anything.”  
  
Scott shot him a scathing look before he turned to observe the palace, “This place is creepy.”  
  
Stiles reached out a hand, feeling the hot stone underneath and not quite holding in a smile, “It’s awesome.”  
  
“Stiles!”  
  
“Look, you have your fantasies, and I have mine,” Stiles defended. “I mean we could be trapped at the bottom of a dungeon somewhere getting electrocuted like we usually are.”  
  
Scott frowned, “No, instead we’re in a sick version of your favorite movie, and you’re fanboying out. I mean is this seriously your fantasy?”  
  
Before Stiles could answer, the door to the place shuddered open. It lifted, and sand flew, and the whole earth quaked as the two boys were left staring into a massive black hole.  
  
“Okay, that’s a little creepy,” Stiles admitted.  
  
Scott sniffed. It was evident he was trying to keep up his leader facade, and he took the first few tentative steps forward, “We’re not going to get attacked by anything, are we?”  
  
Stiles held his hands, “This isn’t following the movie, so anything is possible. I mean the door did just open by itself-which isn’t usually a good sign.”  
  
Scott nodded, stiffly. “Let’s just look for Derek and get out.”  
  
“I-uh, don’t think it’s going to be that easy. If Jabba has someone, it’s usually as a prize, and I’m guessing he’s not going to give him up just like that.”  
  
“Okay well you have your laser sword, and I have--” Scott looked around before his hands found a weapon between a crossbow and a laser gun, “Whatever the hell this is.”  
  
“Just pull the trigger,” Stiles suggested. “I’m pretty sure that’s how it works.”  
  
Scott grumbled a sound, but continued forward.  
  
Silence. The whole place appeared abandoned, but Stiles was sure it wasn’t. Further in, there were several despicable looking creatures, passed out from what seemed to be a night of drunken revelry. Jabba had to be near, but Stiles was hoping to avoid him, if possible.  
  
“I think it’s this way,” he whispered to Scott.  
  
Scott nodded, “I can definitely smell him.”  
  
They moved stealthily among the columns at the perimeter of the room and carefully picked through the snoring, drunken monsters.  
  
“This is disgusting,” Scott whispered. “How can you like something like this?”  
  
Stiles shrugged, “Jabba’s got some pretty hot dancers, I’m pretty sure it was a fun night.”  
  
Scott glared.  
  
Stiles ignored him and moved forward, back towards where a block of frozen carbonite should be hanging. “He’s probably not going to be able to see from the hibernation sickness, and we might need to-” Stiles’s feet stopped moving. He frowned, there was the spotlight, as it should be, but no block of carbonite.  
  
Scott looked at him worriedly, “What’s wrong?”  
  
“He should be here-he, I was sure-”  
  
Scott took a long sniff, “Yeah, I can still smell him.”  
  
“Then-” Stiles was stumped. “Guess I had it wrong. I mean I thought for sure-”  
  
“Seriously, Stiles, I can smell him. He’s definitely here.”  
  
“But then why isn’t he-”  
  
The quiet was pierced by an obscene sounding cackle from the other side of the alcove. There was the flutter of a curtain being pulled away and the chorus of other creatures joining in.  
  
Stiles shut his eyes, “God, not the laugh.” He could already envision the disgusting creature laughing manically behind them.  
  
“Not the-” Scott turned and froze. “Stiles, what is that?”  
  
“Trouble,” Stiles hissed, not quite ready to face the inevitable.  
  
Scott had grown quiet and still.  
  
“Um, Stiles-” Scott’s voice faltered. He poked him, and Stiles hissed. “I uh-found Derek.”  
  
“Jabba?” Stiles wanted to vomit at the thought. “This stupid curse or whatever made him a big disgusting villain?” I mean his boyfriend had some questionable methods sometimes. But seriously?  
  
Scott shook his head, “No, I uh I’m pretty sure it’s not Jabba.”  
  
Stiles side glanced at him in confusion. Scott was looking at something that he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off. He looked spooked and slightly queasy.  
  
Stiles turned and got his first eyeful and-  
  
Oh.  
  
xxx  
  
They fell into the cell like a sack of literal potatoes. Negotiations with the power hungry slug Lord hadn’t gone-well. Scott rose first, scoffing and shooting around the cell in annoyance, “See? I knew this was your fantasy. Someone’s put a curse on us, and yet we’re living your fantasy.” He sounded annoyed and slightly bitter.  
  
“I uh-” Stiles had no excuse. “-Sorry.” He couldn’t even deny it.  
  
“You know I could have lived my whole life without seeing that.”  
  
The goddamn bikini.  
  
Oh Jesus, was Stiles in for it if this was somehow his fault.  
  
_Derek remained silent. Though he seemed relieved to see Stiles and Scott, at first, his small look of happiness dwindled into a typical, stone-faced sourness almost immediately after. Which just didn't work well with the slutty attire of a metal bikini top and bikini bottom with velvet fabric barely covering Derek’s ass and dick._  
  
_Sitting the way the man was, half leaning on the massive creature behind him, Stiles could see Derek’s ripped abdomen and long, muscled legs and-_  
  
_Oh god, was there even underwear? Was Derek freeballing? Fuck Stiles three ways to Sunday this was unfair. Here was the most disgusting thing in the universe holding a chain to his gorgeous boyfriend and Stiles just wanted to see if there was anything else under the fabric of Derek’s skirt._  
  
“You’re a disgusting perv, and I hate you,” Scott said into the bars of the cell. “I really, really hate you.”  
  
“I know,” Stiles sighed. He wanted to ask if Scott thought there was underwear involved (He really needed to know), but he didn’t want to make things worse.  
  
“You could at least look apologetic.”  
  
Stiles was pretty sure ‘apologetic’ didn’t involve a hard dick and really wanting to steal the chain away from the disgusting slob keeping your boyfriend leashed.  
  
So you could use it yourself.  
  
“I-”  
  
“Just, don’t. I don’t want to hear whatever it is so just-” Scott groaned. “I seriously, seriously hate you.”  
  
“Well if it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure this is the part where we get taken to the Dune Sea and cast into the pit of Carkoon, the nesting place of the all-powerful Sarlacc.”  
  
Scott gaped, hairy face twisted in confusion, “How on earth would that make me feel better?”  
  
Stiles shrugged.  
  
Scott swallowed nervously, “We escape, though, right?”  
  
“Scott, this isn’t the movie. Things are all over the place, and I honestly don’t know.”  
  
Scott huffed and pulled at his face hair in aggravation, “Oh great. I could die, and the last thing I’ll get to remember is your boyfriend in a freaking bondage bikini.”  
  
Stiles didn’t voice that he personally thought of no better way to go.  
  
xxx  
  
They stood on the outside of one of the two skiffs floating near the pit. Jabba’s Sail Barge was across from them, stationed just as Stiles remembered it. Jabba, the disgusting lard ass, was in plain site, pushed close so he could view their deaths while looking like a sultan. A sultan fingering Stiles’s boyfriend and offering him a disgusting looking fish Derek openly refused. The man stood as far away from the slug as the chain around his neck would allow, obviously worried, but unable to do much.  
  
Scott had tried in the cell, no claws. Derek was unlikely to have any either.  
  
Was it odd that in his probable lost hour on this earth (planet, whatever), Stiles was only really hoping for a strong wind? Derek was looking down at them, arms on the railing, assorted jewelry glittering in the sun and all Stiles wanted was a gust to lift that damn skirt up and-  
  
“Stiles-” Scott snapped. “Stop ogling him; we’ve got more important things to worry about.”  
  
Oh right, they were kind of dying here. Slowly digested over a thousand years and all that.  
  
Scott groaned, “Does that stupid robot ever shut up?”  
  
The golden nancy bot C-3PO continued to drone their fate, all while Jabba gloated and Derek tried to stop the giant creature from fondling him.  
  
Dammit, that should be Stiles, touching all over that golden flesh peeking out between all that fancy hardware. This fantasy was all wrong.  
  
3-PO continued, “Victims of the almighty Sarlacc: His Excellency hopes that you will die honorably. But should any of you wish to beg for mercy, the great Jabba the Hutt will now listen to your pleas.”  
  
“Yeah you can tell that that slimy piece of... worm-ridden filth to keep his hands off my man,” Stiles shouted arrogantly.  
  
Scott looked unimpressed, but Derek’s mouth lifted the slightest bit.  
  
Which was all the encouragement Stiles needed.  
  
“Follow my lead,” Stiles whispered to Scott, suddenly quite determined to fix what was wrong with all this.  
  
“Just please don’t get us killed.”  
  
Stiles grinned, feeling giddy and slightly, possibly a little insane, “No promises.”  
  
xxx  
  
A Jedi warrior, Stiles was not. Still, hitting things with a lightsaber-not that hard. That or he was just too determined to get back to Derek. The guards fell left and right, and even Scott got the legendary accidental hit in, sending the great Bounty Hunter many praised as the best ever, flying into the pit.  
  
The impact of the swing sent the armored ‘legendary character’ flying like a missile, smashing against the side of the huge Sail Barge and sliding away into the pit.  
  
The Sarlacc burped at its tasty meal.  
  
Boba Fett meant nothing to Stiles, not when he had the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen on the barge across from them.  
  
The gun blasts from the deck guns, started blowing the skiff they were on to bits. “I’ve got to stop them!” Stiles shouted.  
  
With the skiff getting smaller and smaller, Stiles blindly jumped and pretty much shit himself when his fingers met air and not the side of the ship. “Oh shit! Shit!”  
  
Not like this, not like-  
  
A strong arm grabbed him, and Stiles was hoisted up. He panted as the gunfire continued all around them.  
  
Derek Hale was glaring down at him. Part in concern, but mostly in irritation. The chain around his neck had obviously been cut.  
  
“Did you happen to choke him out?” The idea made Stiles even harder than he already was.  
  
Derek crossed his arms, muscles bulging, “I’ve seen the movie, Stiles.”  
  
“Oh,” Stiles was sure he should be embarrassed, but was a man with body hair and an addicting happy trail leading to his gold adorned groin really supposed to look so good?  
  
The barge took another hit, and Derek had to hold the railing to steady himself.  
  
“We have to take out the skiff. The gun it’s-”  
  
“Yeah, I know.”  
  
The wind picked up, and the movement of the rotating gun should have made the moment perfect, but the purple fabric merely molded to Derek’s ass as he fired at the other barge at it exploded into a thousand pieces.  
  
He then pointed the gun down at the barge’s deck.  
  
Oh well, this was Stiles’s favorite part anyway.  
  
“Come on.”  
  
Stiles ran over to him and grabbed hold of one of the ringing ropes from the mast. He gathered Derek in his other arm, shivering at how tight and toned his tanned skin was against the coolness of the metal bikini. He kicked the trigger and pushed off the barge, swinging towards the skiff with Scott on it.  
  
“Seriously?” Derek asked, his head in Stiles’s chest. He seemed more amused than angry now.  
  
Stiles’s hand moved closer to Derek’s ass, “Yeah uh-sorry.”  
  
The made it to the skiff just as the barge exploded behind them.

xxx  
  
“Okay, so that wasn’t really like what I was hoping for.” And Stiles was pretty sure C-3P0 might have blown up with the barge. “But-could have been worse, right?” Scott was driving the skiff surprisingly well, and Derek just watched the desert, skirt flowing.  
  
The man shrugged his powerful shoulders, “It’s your dream.”  
  
“My-” Stiles stopped. “This is a dream?”  
  
Derek laughed, leaning back against the railing, arms open on either side, “Of course it is. It’s the same dream you have all the time.”  
  
Stiles blinked, “Oh-”  
  
“You always complain you can’t get the ending you want,” the man continued, turning his head to the side. His eyes hooded, and his whole body seemed to curve seductively. “You never get your answer.”  
  
“I-you never tell me.”  
  
“I always tell you to see for yourself,” Derek corrected, turning a hip out and making the fabric of his skirt shift the slightest bit.  
  
Stiles licked his lips.  
  
“Touch me and see,” Derek cooed, voice low and heady.  
  
Dear Christ above.  
  
“I never like when he touches you.” The idea of anyone touching Derek but Stiles made him feels sick.  
  
Derek looked sympathetic, “He doesn’t have to ever again, just reach out your hand and-”  
  
Derek grabbed his wrist and guided it to rest just outside the velvet fabric; his voice fell to a whisper at Stiles’s ear, “Feel.”  
  
Stiles's eyes shot open.  
  
His hand found an empty sheet, and he cursed. Stiles cursed and grabbed his pillow and hit it over and over again.  
  
“Fucking shit, every goddamn time!”  
  
Stiles never remembered till the end, till Derek told him and practically begged him to feel him through the skirt.  
  
“The Star Wars one again?”  
  
Stiles moaned at his boyfriend who was clearly returning from the bathroom. He tossed his pillow at Derek angrily, “It’s all your fault!”  
  
Derek caught the pillow and raised a cool, giant eyebrow, “It’s my fault you have a weird fanservice fetish I will never understand?”  
  
“If you would just freaking tell me, it wouldn’t nag at my freaking brain and make me go through all this shit every time.”

“I thought you liked it?”  
  
Stiles did like it. He liked it a lot. “That’s not the point.”

Silence filled the loft and Stiles angrily grabbed at the sheets below him.  
  
“There’s a solution to all this, you know.”  
  
Stiles grumbled and looked away,” Yeah, and what’s that?”  
  
Derek shrugged, as if it were a very simple answer, “Get a replica of it and feel for yourself.”  
  
“I-what?” Stiles was sure he hadn’t heard that right. Was Derek suggesting- “Are you saying you would-”  
  
Derek shrugged, “Look, if it lets me sleep without my partner tossing and turning and whining about it, then whatever, I’ll put on the damn bikini.”  
  
Stiles was sure time had stopped, and aliens had abducted his boyfriend, “You would seriously do that for me?”  
  
“You’re weird Stiles, but unfortunately, I love you, so I guess that means I like seeing you happy,” Derek’s mouth lifted. “From time to time.”  
  
Stiles jumped up and kissed him. He pulled the man to the bed and thoroughly showered him with his lips.  
  
“Stiles-” Derek tried.  
  
“Just wait until I get that chain on you, Hale. Just you fucking wait," he growled, slapping Derek's ass.  
  
Derek rolled his eyes but didn't stop the younger man from grabbing him round the waist and turning him on his stomach.  
  
It looked like sleep was was a long time off for both of them.

The End

AND PLEASE, PLEASE GO AND GIVE THIS FABULOUS ARTIST SOME LOVE HER NAME IS AZURARAIN AND SHE MADE THIS GORGEOUS FANART FOR ME!!!

https://azurarainstuff.tumblr.com/post/166803508057/i-apologize-for-this-and-the-insinuations-that

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.


End file.
